The Justin O. Schmidt Sting Pain Index, 2007

cigar box, pins, shrinky dinks

text:

Schmidt, an entomologist, stung by almost every type of bee, wasp, and ant created (on his own time) an index to compare the overall pain of Hymenopteran stings on a four-point scale.

1.0

sweat bee

light, ephemeral, almost fruity.

a tiny spark has singed a single hair on your arm.

1.2

fire ant

sharp, sudden, mildly alarming.

like walking across a shag carpet & reaching for the light switch.

1.8

bullhorn acacia ant

a rare, piercing, elevated sort of pain.

someone has fired a staple into your cheek.

2.0

bald-faced hornet

rich, hearty, slightly crunchy.

similar to getting your hand mashed in a revolving door.

2.0

yellowjacket

hot and smoky, almost irreverent.

imagine extinguishing a cigar on your tongue.

3.0

red harvester ant

bold and unrelenting.

somebody is using a drill to excavate your ingrown toenail.

3.0

paper wasp

caustic & burning.

distinctly bitter aftertaste.

like spilling a beaker of Hydrochloric acid on a paper cut.

4.0

pepsis wasp

blinding, fierce, shockingly electric.

a running hair drier has been dropped into your bubble bath (if you get stung by one you might as well lie down and scream).

4.0+

bullet ant

pure, intense, brilliant pain.

like walking over flaming charcoal with a 3-inch nail in your heel.